Week 1
I’m really starting to feel the pressure. I’ve been having thoughts doubting my ability and whether I am good enough to compete at this level. I’ve also got a lot on my plate between working, varsity and training and I constantly feel like I’m about to drop something. It’s crunch time now and I don’t know how I got here so quickly.
I trained by myself on Monday and had a really terrible session. I ended up in tears telling myself that I’m not good enough and that I’ll embarrass myself on stage in front of the whole world. I was in a really bad headspace. I kept trying to carry on thinking that if I could just get something right that I would feel better and I would prove that I am good enough and deserve to be going to Worlds, but I just kept getting more upset. I had the next day completely off training and spent some time getting back in the right headspace.
The mental aspect of my training has definitely been one of the hardest parts. I find that particularly when I’m alone I get in my head and lose focus and start obsessing over small issues. Although this is the opportunity of a lifetime and I am so grateful for it, it’s also very stressful. It’s a lot of pressure and I know that if I am going to perform at my best that I will need to have the right attitude and the right tools to cope with the bad days.
Week 2
This week has already started out better than last week. I’m feeling more confident in my routine every time I train.
It’s only two weeks until I leave now, but it still doesn’t quite feel real. This is nothing like I’ve ever experienced before. Although I’m feeling a lot better than last week, I still don’t feel ready yet. I wish there was more time, but at the same time, I’m glad there’s not. I’ve decided to change my program up slightly. From this week I’m going to replace one of my gym sessions with a pole session. I am also going to be switching over to full body gym workouts instead of doing an upper/lower split.
Week 3
This week is going really well. The new program is working out amazingly so far and my routine is getting better every time I run it.
I’m in a really good mental space at the moment and it’s reflecting in my training. I still have some down moments every now and again but I’m recovering from them quickly and I’m managing to not dwell on the negative aspects. I have a list of positive affirmations that I have been saying to myself every morning and before every training sessions, and although I may feel a bit silly or awkward in the moment, I am finding it really helps.
My stamina has improved so much and I am consistently managing to get three run-throughs done in every training session. I have also been a lot better with if a mess up happens not stopping and starting again but rather pushing through and finishing the run anyway no matter how bad it is. Julie has told me that’s it’s really important to know exactly what could go wrong and how I’m going to adapt if I do mess anything up at the competition. With every mistake that I push through, I learn more how to adapt and deal with different situations. I have plan Bs for all of the major elements that I’m most worried about and I feel like having the extra security of knowing that even if something goes wrong the routine won’t be a total disaster.
Week 4
This last week has been all about active recovery and making sure my head is in the right space.
My body has really been felt the effects of the intense training I’ve been doing, so this week I had a chiro session with dry needling and a sports massage. I'm used to pushing through the pain, but I've realised that sometimes giving my body some rest and time to recover can be more important than training. I was supposed to have my final run-through before I leave on Saturday but decided to skip it and give myself a bit of a break.
I can’t believe that there is now less than a week to go! I’m flying to Canada this evening and this will be my last blog post, but I will be posting updates about the competition on my Instagram.
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