It’s been exactly a month since I performed and placed 2nd at the World Para Pole Sports Championship in Canada. I’ve finally had a chance to gather my thoughts and write about my experience.
I was so excited to perform my routine leading up to Saturday. I had put so much work into it and with my last practice having gone so well I was just so eager to step on stage and show everyone my routine. I was confident in my routine and after my rehearsal, on Thursday I was ready to go.
But on Saturday the nerves really started to hit. I was still excited but it was a very nervous excitement and the closer it got to my performance the more nervous I got. I was very worried that they would run early, but being prepared for if that happened was within my control so I made sure to get to the venue hours earlier than I needed to be there. I did my hair and makeup and then started warming up with plenty of time to spare.
A few minutes before I was due to be on stage I went to stand in the wings and that is when my nerves went crazy! I was jumping around trying to stay warm and listening to music and distracting myself from my competitor's performances which were happening right behind me. I was trying to avoid watching anyone else’s performance or hearing anyone else’s score, because this routine was for me and although of course, I wanted to place and get a good score, it was more about proving to myself that I could get on that stage and give a performance that I would be happy with.
As they called my name and I stepped on to the stage I started shaking because I was so nervous. But the music started and I started to dance, performing the steps of my routine like I had a hundred times before in my practices. I was still nervous and worried that I would mess something up, but I tried to put those thoughts out of my mind and smiled and carried on with my routine.
And then I did my inverted drop. That was the turning point for me. From that point on I couldn’t help but smile! I was so confident and really started enjoying myself. It went from me just repeating the steps and thinking about every move to really feeling the music and embracing the fact that I was on stage performing for the world to see.
By the end of the routine, I was shaking so much I could barely walk properly. I ran off the stage and I was filled with a huge wave of relief and pride and joy! I was still full of adrenaline and still shaking, barely able to talk or stand up. It was such a surreal feeling.
I left it all on the stage and it was honestly the best possible performance I could have given. I got to come home with a silver medal and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. All the hard work and training that I put in paid off. The experience also left me with a renewed sense of appreciation for pole dancing and this is definitely not the end of my journey!!
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